Metallica sucks.
They haven't made a good album in 20 years, and anybody who actually listens to Metal will tell you the same thing.
I'm on a mission, today: To prove once and for all that these guys are complete wankers. I'm taking my own little chunk out of the carcass that once was Metallica, using only the raw power of my impossibly sharp sense of humor.
And YouTube clips.
Lots of YouTube clips.